I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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