I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
