Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
