I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
