She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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