I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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