it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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