this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
