This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
