You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
