Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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