it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
