I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
