idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
