you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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