i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
