K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
