so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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