Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
