you guys were way drunker than both of me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
