dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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