i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
