please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i already hear my dad disowning me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Randomize
