When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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