1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
