So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
