Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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