Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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