his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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