come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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