i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
