i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
