Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
