Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
