She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
