It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
