You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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