love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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