I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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