If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
