Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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