So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
