I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
