why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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