hotel room ftw
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
