the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
