im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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