that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
