'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
as a side note pls kill me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize