i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
