Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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