Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
