brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
