she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
