Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The uberlube is also flammable
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
