Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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