either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
