I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
